


He Wanted to Die

by that_insane_fangirl



Category: Everyman HYBRID
Genre: Blood, Depressing, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 19:04:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4403615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/that_insane_fangirl/pseuds/that_insane_fangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All he wanted was to end it once and for all, to save the last friend he had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Wanted to Die

**Author's Note:**

> If I need to tag anything else in this just let me know and I'll do it.

Evan sighed, gritting his teeth as another sting of pain sliced across his forearm. The pain dulled, blending together with the previous cuts he’d made. It was wrong, he knew that. But the brief feeling of satisfaction, of relief, made him do it anyway. Pausing for a moment he watched the line begin to fill with the deep red color of blood. He shot a glance towards the door, afraid that his friend may come looking for him. He didn’t know what Vinnie would say if he found out about this. He didn’t want to know. Vinnie was his only friend, and Evan was his. Habit had killed everyone else; they only had each other to count on. 

But he can’t really even count on me to be there for him most of the time,  he thought.  I’m not me anymore. I can’t do anything, Habit will take control again soon I just  know  it.  It was his fault this had happened. His fault that Vinnie was afraid. His fault for his friend’s suffering. His fault that everyone else was dead. The tears that had been forming in his eyes began to fall freely, until they were streaming down the man’s face.

Another slash, and another, and another. Each one deeper than the last. He wanted to die, it was simple as that. He’d tried, he’d tried over and over again to get better, he really did. He tried to ignore the feelings, to keep going, to not lose himself. But he couldn’t do it anymore. Evan couldn’t stand the mere idea of having to go through another day, seeing and thinking things that were constant reminders of who he was and what he’d done. He wanted to die, to end the suffering, to simply cease existing. 

A knock at the door.

“Evan, are you in there?”

He didn’t respond.

“...Hello, Evan, you doing okay?” His friend’s voice became worried. “You’ve been in here for a while…”

It hurt to hear that voice and the concern it held, but he still didn’t answer. He couldn’t trust his voice not to betray him if he were to speak.

He choked back a sob, hoping the small noise that escaped his mouth hadn’t been heard. His skin was stained in red at this point, the red liquid dripping down onto his lap. The cuts were lined up his forearm, some of them overlapping others as he’d run out of room. Evan’s hand shook, and he couldn’t help but cry out in pain when the sharp blade cut into him once again. No longer trying to keep quiet he forced the knife downwards, carefully tracing where he knew the vein was underneath his bloodstained skin; sobs breaking through him nonstop.

“...Are you crying?”

“N-no...Just, go. Leave me alone, p-please.”

The blood was flowing heavily now, his arm burning with each movement, body shaking uncontrollably.

“Evan, let me in,” The other man had heard and was trying to get in now, pushing against the door.

“I said no!” His voice cracked painfully. He was getting dizzy now, watching the blood leave his body through the gash in his wrist. Through the pain he felt a sense of relief, feeling himself slowly fading away. The knife slipped from his grip and he fell over, mind in a hazed mix of pain and relief, when he heard the all too familiar voice of the demon inside him.

I know you want to die,  it said.  But I can’t let you go, not just yet.

He didn’t want it to be but he knew it was true. No matter how hard he dug the knife, no matter how many pills he took, no matter what he did, he wouldn't be able to go.

“Evan, what are you doing? Open the door, please…!”

The voice faded to nothing but a dull ringing. He wanted to die, but he couldn’t.


End file.
